Getting Through Grief And Loss

A lot of people are aware of the five stages of grief and loss, it has been discussed among professionals, and people who have been impacted by them and even mentioned on TV shows and movies. When you see a grief recovery therapist in Wall NJ they are likely to talk about them too. This idea was developed in the book On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. While it was originally about how people react to death specifically in fact it applies to any kind of loss we might experience. Those stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Different people spend different lengths of time on the process as we try to process the loss and adapt to the change and try to protect themselves.

It is different for everyone

It really is different for each person, how long you spend on the stages, whether you cycle through them more than once, how you express that grief and so on. Seeing a grief and loss therapist in Wall NJ can support you. Sometimes that combination of loss and stress is overwhelming and reactions can be triggered that include loss of appetite, insomnia, depression, nightmares, disconnection and so on. Some people are more able to function through the everyday than others but that does not mean that one person is feeling the loss more than someone else, it is just we react differently to that loss. When you are aware of the stages and how you are experiencing them it can help you be more compassionate to yourself and understand your needs and ensure they are met.

Denial – this can look like people avoiding the loss, not talking about it, forgetting about it, being distracted easily, procrastinating, acting in a mindless manner, keep saying they are fine, making themselves busy, acting confused, shutting down, in shock and feeling numb.
Anger – this can look like people are more pessimistic, irritable and impatient, sarcastic, cynical about things, being more aggressive or passive-aggressive, arguing and drinking more or taking drugs, becoming frustrated easily, resenting things, expressing rage, feeling and acting out of control. A grief recovery therapist in Wall NJ can help.
Bargaining – this can look like people talking about the past and what the future could have been, worrying and overthinking things, comparing themselves to others, assuming the worst is going to happen, using phrases like I should have or if only, being judgemental to themselves and others, with feelings of guilt, blame, insecurity, anxiety, fear and shame.
Depression – this can look like people having changes in their eating and sleep patterns, not having energy, not feeling motivated, not wanting to interact socially, crying and drinking and taking drugs more. This can feel like sadness, disappointment, being overwhelmed, feeling hopeless, helpless and despair.
Acceptance – A grief and loss therapist in Wall NJ will tell you this can look like people being more mindful in their actions, engaging with reality, being more present, letting themselves and others express emotions, being vulnerable, not being defensive, coping and adapting.